Attract Your Ideal Life Partner into Your Life

Last Sunday, I was at the wedding banquet of my nephew and his bride.

The Master of Ceremony asked the bride on stage how she found her husband.

The bride shared that before she met my nephew, she had a check list of the qualities that she would like in her future husband. When she was able to check off all the boxes against my nephew’s qualities, she was sure that she had found her MR Right.

Well, the bride is a wise lady indeed.

I have to agree with her that my nephew is a fine young gentleman. (Yes, I know I am biased.)

My point is how many people actually have a clear idea of what they would like in a life partner?

What spiritual, mental, physical, behavioural, educational, financial, and other qualities must one’s life partner have?

Many people actually have not given this all-important matter much thought, and assumed that matters of the heart are best left to fate.

In my opinion, such an approach would not give you much chance of finding your ideal life partner, because you are not sure of what you are looking for in the first place.

Wouldn’t it be better to, like my niece-in-law, have a list of criteria of what she is looking for in a future husband?

This list of criteria will set one’s unconscious mind to work to seek out those people who meet one’s criteria.

The alternative of not having such a list of criteria is to allow MR or MS Right to go unrecognised even when s/he shows up in front of you.

Take a look at this video by clicking on the link.

Click on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSQJP40PcGI

Did you see the moonwalking bear on the first viewing?

If you weren’t specifically looking for it, you will miss the moonwalking bear, big and striking though it may be.

The same applies to looking for your ideal life partner. Don’t be shy to state what you want and s/he won’t escape you like the moonwalking bear.

Visualize Your Desired Outcome

Get the Resources you Need to Achieve your Desired Outcome

What resources do I need to achieve my desired outcome?

These include both external as well as internal resources.

Examples of internal resources are courage, persistence, positive attitude, enthusiasm, confidence, patience, curiosity, staying power, commitment, passion, initiative, focus, responsibility, willingness to learn, determination and other qualities.

NLP practitioners believe that we have all the internal resources we need to succeed. They are all in us.

These internal resources are gifts of being human beings. We only need to be aware of them and mobilize them to help us achieve our desired outcomes.

We can look inside ourselves to find these gifts (internal resources) or remove the obstacles like limiting beliefs that block our access to them.

Sometimes a good teacher/ parent/ mentor/ friend can help us bring our internal resources out of us.

 
External resources are things like money, know how, skills, assets (like tools/ equipment/ buildings), materials, qualifications, professional network, partners, time, laws and regulations and so on.

Identify what external resources you already have and what other external resources you need to acquire.

Go ahead and acquire what you need. This could mean:

     - Reading and researching the information you need.

     - Joining organizations to network with the people whose support, expertise and business you need.

     - Attending training programs to acquire the knowledge and skills you need.

     - Financial planning to secure the funds you need.

Many sages, from ancient to modern, have stated that preparation is the secret of success.

Abraham Lincoln said “ If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first hour sharpening the axe”.

Confucius said, “Success depends upon previous preparation”.

Renowned football coach Bear Bryant said, “It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.”

For each desired outcome, we need to prepare a wide variety of external and internal resources. We need to know all the resources that we need to have, if we don’t want to get frustrated at the middle of the project and are forced abandon it.

Countless numbers of projects have been abandoned due to inadequate preparation.

State Your Desired Outcome in Positive Terms

State what we want (our desired outcome) in positive terms.

Stating our desired outcomes, triggers our subconscious mind to carry it out.

When we state our desired outcome, make sure we use positive language.

When we use positive language, we increase our chances of getting positive results.

Examples of positive desired outcomes are:

     I want a job in a top multinational company when I graduate.

     I want to scale the peak of mount Everest this summer.

     I am going to get into a size 7 dress by next summer.

Many people make the mistake of saying what it is that they don’t want.

Unfortunately, we often get negative results, when we use negative language.

This is because the human mind cannot directly interpret a negative representation.

It has to first create the negative representation and then tries to negate it.

For example, policemen are trained to disarm an armed gunman using the order, “Put down your weapon!”

If a policeman orders a gunman, “Don’t shoot!”, the gunman has to first try to understand the meaning of “shoot!” and then try to negate it.

If negation fails as it sometimes happens, the gunman may end up doing the exact opposite of what the policeman wanted him to do.

Examples of negatively stated outcomes are:

     I don’t want to be stuck in a dead end job.

     I don’t want to be a couch potato.

Compelling Goals, Compelling Lives

Outcome Thinking

4-point Success Formula

The NLP 4-point Success Formula works like a modern guided missile to help people achieve their goals.

• Step 1 – Select your target (set your goal)
• Step 2 – Blast off (take action)
• Step 3 – Sense (gather feedback on whether you are closing in on your target or not)
• Step 4 – Adjust (change your flight path until you hit your target). 

Step 1 – Select your target.

Lock on to it tenaciously like a guided missile.

It is critical to be precise about what you are locking on to, otherwise you may get unintended results or get nowhere.

People often do not achieve their aims because their goals are “out-of-shape” i.e. not well-formed.

Step 2 – Blast off.

Unless we take action, we will not achieve our target no matter how well defined or worthy our goals are.

Taking action might seem pretty obvious, but many people do not do that. They make up excuses like, waiting for the best time, waiting for others, or give other “excellent” reasons on why doing nothing is the right thing to do.

Go for it, NLP is action oriented and about making things happen, for ourselves or for others.

Step 3 – Sense.

Where are you now compared to where you want to go? Are you closer to where you want to be? Are you heading in the correct direction?

If your goal involves other people, you have to pay absolute attention to them using your sensory acuity.

Often when we are talking to others, we are engaged with ourselves in our heads at the same time. We are formulating our responses and are waiting for the moment to jump in to give our own opinion.

As a result, we miss noticing those minute shifts, verbal and non-verbal cues, and changes in others that tell us whether what we are doing is working or not.

Sensing (listening, looking and having total external focus) lets you notice everything that is going on that affects your goal.

Paying attention lets you receive more feedback because you become a great listener that people want to talk to.

Step 4 – Adjust.

The road to your goal is seldom a straight line.

Often people just stubbornly plod on, repeating the same thing that has already proven not to work.

Lock on to your target tenaciously, and also be flexible. If what you are doing isn’t getting you what you want, change what you are doing.

These, in a nutshell, are the four basic steps to excellence in NLP and in life!