Attract Your Ideal Life Partner into Your Life

Last Sunday, I was at the wedding banquet of my nephew and his bride.

The Master of Ceremony asked the bride on stage how she found her husband.

The bride shared that before she met my nephew, she had a check list of the qualities that she would like in her future husband. When she was able to check off all the boxes against my nephew’s qualities, she was sure that she had found her MR Right.

Well, the bride is a wise lady indeed.

I have to agree with her that my nephew is a fine young gentleman. (Yes, I know I am biased.)

My point is how many people actually have a clear idea of what they would like in a life partner?

What spiritual, mental, physical, behavioural, educational, financial, and other qualities must one’s life partner have?

Many people actually have not given this all-important matter much thought, and assumed that matters of the heart are best left to fate.

In my opinion, such an approach would not give you much chance of finding your ideal life partner, because you are not sure of what you are looking for in the first place.

Wouldn’t it be better to, like my niece-in-law, have a list of criteria of what she is looking for in a future husband?

This list of criteria will set one’s unconscious mind to work to seek out those people who meet one’s criteria.

The alternative of not having such a list of criteria is to allow MR or MS Right to go unrecognised even when s/he shows up in front of you.

Take a look at this video by clicking on the link.

Click on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSQJP40PcGI

Did you see the moonwalking bear on the first viewing?

If you weren’t specifically looking for it, you will miss the moonwalking bear, big and striking though it may be.

The same applies to looking for your ideal life partner. Don’t be shy to state what you want and s/he won’t escape you like the moonwalking bear.

The Moonwalking Bear and the Reticular Activating System

Click on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47LCLoidJh4

Did you see the moonwalking bear on the first viewing? Most people don’t.

What happened? How did most people miss the BIG moonwalking bear?

The secret lies in the workings of our Reticular Activation System or RAS. It is the part of our brain that automatically filters out what we consider unimportant to us, and brings to our attention, things that we consider important to us.

Because of the way our RAS works, we will see what we are focusing on (consider important) but will miss even BIG things like the moonwalking bear, if we are not focusing on it.

The way our RAS works has far reaching implications on the success or failure in all areas of our lives e.g. relationships, health, wealth, career etc.

Take the area of relationships.

Though it is pivotal to our life long happiness, many people leave the choice of their life partner to chance or “fate”.

They have no clear criteria of what traits and qualities their ideal partners should have. They are looking for someone out there, somewhere out there, but with little or no idea what that person should be like. It is little wonder then that people often ended up with no one out there, or the wrong one.

Without knowing what we are looking for, even when a suitable partner appears, s/he will pass invisibly by, like the BIG moonwalking bear.

So, what should we do? Our RAS will not change its ways. It has been this way for millions of years.

Fortunately, it is easy to get our RAS to work for us, without having to change its ways.

You just need to give your RAS clear, specific instructions. Your RAS is very obedient and totally loyal.

You just need to program your RAS with the specific emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual traits, qualities and characteristics that you want in your ideal partner. A powerful way to program your RAS is to write down your goals, in this case, the kind of person you want in a life partner.

Review and refine your criteria regularly. Doing so will hammer your criteria into your RAS.

With this program, your RAS will work dutifully for you, bringing to you candidates who meet your set criteria.

Give it a try, and Good Luck. (Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. More on this, another time.)

Writing our Personal Goals is a POWERFUL Way to Trigger our Reticular Activating System (RAS)

Our Reticular Activating System (or RAS) is the part of our brain that functions like a doorman to our conscious mind.

Our doorman/RAS decides, from among the countless stimuli we are constantly bombarded by, which ones make it into our conscious mind.

Only stimuli admitted into our conscious mind “exist” and get acted upon. Those left outside our conscious mind by our RAS, do not “exist”.

Our RAS decides what goes into our conscious mind through a set of screening criteria that we give it, either purposefully or by default

How does it work?

Ever bought a new outfit and suddenly see it everywhere, even though you never noticed it before? That is because your RAS now included the outfit in its screening criteria. Any information matching your new outfit will be let into your conscious mind, making you notice it more.

The good news is, once we understand how our RAS works, we can make it work for us.

Writing our personal goals is a POWERFUL way to set the screening criteria for our RAS.

The next time you're in New York City’s Planet Hollywood, look out for Bruce Lee’s letter to himself among the movie memorabilia on exhibition.

Bruce Lee’s letter and his achievements is a good example of the POWER of writing one’s personal goals.

It’s not important to understand how we'll achieve our goals when you first set them down on paper. Rest assured that our RAS will alert us on what we need to know along the way.

When we repeatedly think about, write and re-write a goal, our mind focuses on it and starts working for it on other levels as well.

We will become aware of related matters and needed resources which are important to the goal. These things are overlooked or not given any attention, if we had not written the goal down.

Give it a try.

Write your goals like Bruce Lee.

It worked for Bruce Lee and many other successful people, and it’ll work wonders for you too.

Reticular Activating System (RAS)

Our mind is constantly bombarded by a great due of information received by our senses (visual, auditory, taste, smell, and touch). Fortunately, we are equipped with a Reticular Activating System (or RAS) that filters these sensory information. Without our RAS, we would simply be overwhelmed by information overload.

The RAS works by filtering all sensory information we receive, and channelling them into either our unconscious or conscious mind.

We are able to act on only those information that are currently in our conscious mind. The capacity of our conscious mind is limited, while that of our unconscious mind is unlimited.

How does our RAS sort information into our conscious and unconscious minds?

Our beliefs, attitudes, values, and conditioning act as the filters in our RAS.

Everything deemed irrelevant by our filters, “disappears” into our unconscious. They become “unseen” by us.

What do I mean?

Lets say, you bought a new car that is red. All of a sudden, every other car you see on the road is red.

It’s not that red cars suddenly appear everwhere once you drive a red car; it’s just that you didn’t notice them before. Before you got your red car, any red cars your eyes picked up “disappeared” into your unconscious mind, thanks to your RAS.

When you became a red car owner, red cars become relevant to you, and your RAS sends the visual information on red cars to your conscious mind. Suddenly, red cars are everywhere!

The red cars were always there, it’s just that you didn’t see them. They were (previously) unseen by you.

When you think about it, the same principle applies to other things in our lives like success, money, love, happiness. If you are not focusing on them, they “disappear” into your unconscious mind. Like the red cars, they have always been there, they are just unseen by you.

So, what is the implication of this insight?

For all the good things that you want in life, set your filters to focus on them so that your RAS will channel them to your conscious mind. Only then, can your conscious mind operate on them to turn them into reality.

Setting goals is one of the best ways to set our RAS filters.

For example, singles wishing to find a life partner can define in detail the qualities that they would like in their dream partner. Define what s/he would be like mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Those who tune their RAS with what their dream partner is like, will not miss the opportunity when their MR/MS Right turns up in their life.

For those who have no idea what their MR/MS Right is supposed to be like, s/he will be invisible to them, even if s/he shows up in their life.

What other goals can you think of to set your RAS?

Use the wonders of our RAS wisely, and there will not be another missed opportunity or running into treacherous rocks because we are unconscious of them.