“Have you ever heard a quote by Marianne Williamson that says “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
It’s our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
You see, there is a model of how human beings are.
You see a little kid, a little baby. Little babies are very, very confident. They have a natural kind of energy that shines out of them
You can think of that you. You were all babies at one point. As being like a diamond. Just perfect, totally authentic, totally open, totally shining.
You know, you take a baby. You guys are a bunch of cool guys. If we brought a baby in here, you’ll be 50% kind of repulsed because it’s a baby, and 50% going “aahhhh….” Because babies make people shine. It’s this baby thing, its kind of weird.
So, we got that naturally within us, all of us. And the cool thing about babies? They ask for what they want. They want something, you’ll know about it.
They are not going, what have I got to do to get this and that thing. They’ll let you know right away. And they are amazing.
Babies don’t realise that they are anything other than they’re completely fantastic.
Here’s what happens.
We learn. We learn all kinds of things. All kinds of good things because, what we are in essence is, learning machines. We are amazing learners.
See here’s the thing. Whenever, I travel to London, I use SATNAV now (satellite navigation i.e. GPS). I tend to use SATNAV. But I used to use the A-Z. The A–Z is a map of London.
It’s a map of London, but it’s not London. It’s just a map. London is far too big to be contained in a book that fits in my glove box. It’s got far too many things in it. Far too many qualities, it’s got buildings, its got people. It’s got millions and millions of things that could never be contained in a map. A map’s useful for navigating it but it’s not London.
Now here’s the thing, do me a favour. Just touch your nose. Do it. Isn’t it amazing?
Now here’s the thing, if you don’t think so, then you have not been around me long enough. Here’s the thing. There was a time when you couldn’t do that. When you didn’t know how to do that. There was a time when you didn’t even know what the word nose meant. When you didn’t even know that, that was your hand. Well that’s my hand, your one was yours. You didn’t know it was your hand. You didn’t know that there was a relationship between, and you learned it, and you learned it fast and you learnt it without going for any courses or reading any books. You learnt the way about the different parts of your body. You built a map of you, of your body, of your world and the important people in your world.
And, the first time you heard the word “milk” you didn’t even know what it was. It was just a sound, not distinct from your mum coughing or anything else. But then very, very quickly, you learn to associate that sound with that warm, nourishing yummy liquid. And you did that with all the words you ever learnt.
See, your body is designed for a world of things and experience. Not for a world of words. But you can translate the words I’m saying so quickly into the things that makes sense to your deeper body and mind. That it happens automatically. So what you did, was you built a map of you. And that map of you contains all the ideas that you have about yourself and the world. And each of those ideas, you imagine like a shining light, like a light bulb. Each of these ideas is like a cobweb. Maybe it’s the idea that it is not OK to get angry. Where it’s not OK to do certain things. Or that you can’t do this. You can’t do that. Or you shouldn’t do this, you shouldn’t do that.
And what we get, is like a layer of shit around the diamond.
Diamond’s still there, and there’s like a layer of horse poo around it.
So what we then do, is we build a personality. And the personality goes on like nail polish on the outside of the horse poo.
Nice metaphor, hah. Just stay with me on this one.
So, the diamond. That’s who you really are.
That shining, amazing light.
So, horse poo is who we fear we are.
And the nail polish, the “personality” is who we pretend to be.
Which gets us where? Well, here’s where it gets us.
We show the personality, cause what we don’t want anyone to see is the horse poo, cause that’s what we fear we are. “Oh, mustn’t let them see the shit. Oh, pretend everything is great.”
All we need to do is to clear that (horse shit and nail polish) away so that the light can shine through.
The light of who we really are. The light of our desires.
You know. Here’s the thing. In a while I ask you what you want in this area of your life, I'll call love life, relationships, women or however you want to think about that.
What is it that you want? And some of the things that you want, I’m guessing that you’ll be happy to share with the room. And there may be things that you want that you feel you mustn’t let anyone know, “Oh my god, if they find out that I like to do that they would stone me in the car park”.
So we pretend. We pretend to be other than who we are. And no where is this more often the case, than when it comes to meeting women.
So we pretend to be someone whom we are not. And what do women say? They say, “Just be yourself”. We’ve asked a thousand women for advice on men, on about how to be more successful with women.
They say, “Just be yourself”.
Well, who do they mean? They don’t mean this (the glittering nail polish). They mean be who you really are.
Be honest. Be authentic.
Just be yourself.
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